| TEXT / SPAM / LOVE / PROPOSALS / NUDES/ OOC |
[November 09; 08:02pm] |
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| I want to break free... |
[February 19; 01:23am] |
I miss it.
I miss stripping.
I don't miss the money.
I don't miss the obnoxious advances of married men.
I miss the rush, the control, the power, the thrill, the excitement. The feeling that every night is show. Every night is a new way to reinvent yourself. Every night you're in charge of your destiny and you're grabbing it by the horns and going for the ride of your life.
The bachelor party was tonight. I had fun. I made my money.
And then I gave half of it to the groom. Congratulations on getting married.
The best man was shocked. I don't need the money. Yes, I'd like to move out of my house soon. And yes, I have to buy a car of my own. But doing that job for all those years, I have the money I need for all of that. And oh yeah, I have a job where I make a good amount of money. I really do miss the thrill. I wanted to get out so bad, but the grass isn't always greener.
But I don't think I could do it full time. Maybe a night a week. Maybe once a month. Not often at all. Just enough to get that built up energy and frustration out. Is frustration the right word for it? Probably not. How else can I describe it? For me its just, it's orgasmic on a mental level. It's like when runners get that runners high. It's amazing.
I came home, Theresa was up, and the first thing she says to me is, "wow, you look like you had fun tonight. Weren't you working?" Yes, yes I was.
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